Welcome to Navigate Tuesday Tips. I’m

Pam and today we’re going to talk about

handling communication challenges. Some

of the most common challenges that we

have on our properties are

differences in communication due to

limited English proficiency or cultural

challenges, disabilities or mental

illness, personality differences,

inexperience with a rental situation. We

have some people that have never rented

before or haven’t rented in quite some

time. Inexperience with subsidy

programs. Past trauma or negative

experiences sometimes can impact how

someone sees a communication.

Personal biases.

Bad or inaccurate information can result

in communication difficulties and lack

of education or communication skills.

Things to keep in mind when someone’s

moving into subsidized housing. It’s

coming with neighbors on all sides which

they may not have experienced. Sometimes

a loss of independence or perceived loss

of independence for seniors are the

disabled. Lots of rules, a perceived

loss of privacy. A lot of them are going

from their own home to an apartment and

it can be a big change for people. It

can be even more challenging to people

who have mental disabilities or

challenges or neurodeiversity. One of

the things that you can do to improve

your communication is practice what’s

called active listening. Active

listening has you focus on understanding

what the person is saying rather than

preparing a reply. Most of us in a

conversation as we’re listening to

someone or kind of formulating our own

ideas and responses.

Active listening has you just focusing

on understanding. So you’re going to

avoid interrupting

Take notes or ask questions when the

speaker is done, allow for pauses and

silence.

One of the things that you can do that

helps people to know that you’re

listening is paraphrasing what was said.

So, let me make sure I understand what

you’re saying or if I hear you

correctly, you said that. Confirm that

you’re paying attention with things

like, “Okay, I hear you. I understand.”

be careful of what’s called

microaggressions.

Microaggressions are sort of unconscious

biases that we all have. We all grew up

in different ways and you know with

different neighborhoods and different

people and different religions and all

sorts of things that frame how we see

the world. So microaggressions can

include things like your speech, your

mannerisms, your tone, expressions that Improving Communication Skills

may have negative undertones, things

like master bedroom or lame.

Uh where it’s reasonable, accommodate

personal preferences for terms of

address, things like titles. If somebody

has a doctor title, they may want to be

addressed as doctor. Some of these

titles reflect a big achievement for

people and they’re more comfortable

being referred to using those titles.

Gender. Be very careful about following

gender preferences. The federal

government recently has issued guidance

on whether or not it recognizes genders.

You want to follow what your corporate

policy is in terms of how you address

people. follow any company expectations

for how residents and others will be

spoken to. One of the things that can

help you foster open communication is

avoiding a flat no when possible. A flat

no shuts people down. It discourages

communication. So if you can frame it

as offering an alternative, sometimes

that’ll open discussion and it avoids it

being heard as just a door slam. So if

somebody says, “Oh man, I just saw, you

know, my friend has New Finland puppies.

I love New Finlands. I’d love to have

one. Can I have one here?”

You can, instead of just saying, “No,

you can’t.” You could say, “Well,

there’s a size limit here for pets, but

you could have a dog that meets those.

Maybe you could find a smaller dog

that’s similar to a New Finland that

would meet the policy.”

So you can open up that dialogue by not

directly saying, “No, you can’t.” and

kind of explaining the rules and

sticking to the rules, but doing that in

a way that allows for discussion and

interaction. Remember that when you’re

talking about animals, service animals

and ESAs do not have size or breed

restrictions. Focus on what you can do,

not what you can’t do. So, if somebody

says to you, you know, that manager was

completely rude to me, I want them fired

right now. What you can tell them

instead is saying, well, we’re not going

to fire somebody just because you don’t

like what they said. That’s going to

shut it down. It could potentially make

the person very agitated, but you can

answer it in a way that allows the

person to see you’re taking it

seriously, but it doesn’t necessarily

promise them a specific outcome. Our

company takes this very seriously. I

can’t guarantee what’s going to happen,

but I can tell you we’ll look into it

and take the appropriate action

or let me look into this and get back to

you if you don’t have an answer right Fostering Open Communication

now. Get them invested in the solution

to the problem. So you can ask things

like, “Well, what’s your ideal solution

to this?” Or, “We could offer X or Y.

Which would you prefer?” Or, “In case I

can’t get that done for you in

particular, is there an alternative you

can think of?” It helps the resident

feel that they have some control in the

discussion. It helps validate their

concerns as important and it gets them

invested in the outcome. You want to

give as much information as makes sense

to do. You want to offer options where

you can and get input.

If you are redoing flooring, sometimes

if there are two similar floorings, you

can say we can install A or B, which

would you like? Or we can meet on

Tuesday or Wednesday, which is better

for you? Or you can have an interim for

that new expense, or you can save it and

have it added in next year. Offering

these options can give your resident a

feeling that you care what they think,

which we do, and that they have some

control over the outcome. We ask them to

provide a lot of information. They have

to follow a lot of rules. So sometimes

it can feel like you have no control

over the situation. And giving them

options where you can helps them to

understand that they do have some

choices. Avoid too many choices though.

and certainly don’t make promises you

can’t keep. Remember, with reasonable

accommodations, there’s a requirement to

enter into what’s called an interactive

dialogue. So, if you can’t accommodate a

particular solution, you always want to

be approaching that in terms of we can’t

do this, but we could do this. So, let’s

say Mrs. Smith has asked for very

expensive Italian marble flooring

instead of carpeting. Verification does

confirm that she needs non-carpeting.

Now, the property normally uses VCT

instead of marble. So, what we would be

doing is confirming with the verifier

that the VCT meets the need and then

having a meeting with Mrs. Smith to say,

“Well, Mrs. Smith, we were able to

confirm that you need your carpet

removed.

We are not able to install marble, but

we could install this VCT that looks

like marble if that will work.” And the

hope is that you’ll come to an

acceptable solution. If she’s being

unreasonable, you want to look for

guidance from your supervisor. But if

she accepts that solution, then you’ve

been able to come to a solution without

a hard note. If you’ve heard of the

concepts of do no harm or do unto

others, you want to strive in your

interactions with people to leave them

feeling better than when they walked in.

Somebody walks into my office and is

yelling and angry. My goal is to have

them leave feeling like I’ve heard them Navigating Difficult
Conversations

and hopefully to have a solution. Even

if you can’t give the desired solution,

you want to aim for people to feel

heard, respected, and understanding what

the next steps are. Never underestimate

the value of a simple I’m sorry. Even if

it’s not something that you did, even if

it’s not something that’s your fault,

offering empathy and an apology

sometimes goes a long way to make people

feel that they’ve been heard and

understood. I’m sorry that our

discussion left you feeling

disrespected. I’m sorry if I caused you

to feel disrespected. I can hear that

you’re frustrated. I’m sorry that that’s

the result of any interactions with us.

But keep legal ramifications in mind. So

you don’t want to admit to fault.

Attorneys will tell you that. If there’s

any question on whether you can say

something, direct those to your

supervisor or to your attorney.

Disabilities and impairments can

sometimes drastically impact how someone

communicates. Remember that we are not

clinicians. We don’t diagnose. We don’t

treat. When there appear to be more than

the usual challenges, you want to be

looking at offering alternate methods of

communication.

Some people don’t do well with verbal

communication and they’re going to do

better if you put it in writing. Don’t

make promises that you may not be able

to keep. That’s generally true of any

interaction, but with certain

conditions, those things can be

especially difficult for people to

process. Be conscious of signs that an

individual is feeling overwhelmed. You

can always offer to regroup later

without getting into why they may be

feeling that. You can say, you know, you

look pretty upset. Would it be better to

continue this at another time? Be sure

to involve

any conservators if there is a

conservator. And if the tenant requests

to have somebody else at the meeting, be

sure to involve those parties where

possible.

Never imply that an individual is

incompetent or has any sort of disorder

or disability. Reasonable boundaries.

Tough skin is an essential part of

working with people, but reasonable

boundaries are acceptable and should be

set. For these, you’re really going to

look to what your company’s policy is

for how to deal with somebody who is

yelling, swearing, accusing you. In some

cases, you can say things like, “I can

tell you’re very upset, but I’m going to

have to ask you to stop using

profanity.” Or in some cases, I’m going

to have to ask you to leave the office

and come back when we can have a

reasonable conversation. Again, you’re

going to follow your corporate

guidelines for how to handle that. It Setting Boundaries and Ensuring
Safety

could include things like ending a phone

call and asking them to call back later,

asking someone to leave the office,

doing your future communications in

writing to avoid conflict, and whatever

other solutions your company generally

employs. Again, safety first. If

somebody is getting agitated to the

point that you are concerned for your

safety, call law enforcement. If you ask

them to leave and they’re refusing, call

law enforcement. Sometimes you can lock

your door and call law enforcement.

Sometimes you might need to leave the

property and call law enforcement. But

always follow your company’s policy for

what you should do in the case of an

agitated resident that makes you feel

unsafe. Goal is always a successful

outcome, right? But that doesn’t always

mean everyone gets what they want. It

means that everyone feels accepted and

we’ve come to an acceptable solution, if

maybe not the one they prefer. So that’s

going to do it for this one. I hope you

found that helpful. If you have an idea

for what you’d like to see on the next

Tuesday tip, please let us know. You can

email me or Vicki. You can also email us

with questions. And we’ll see you on the

next one.